Posted by: darmonation | June 6, 2009

How is Chester Cheetah Not Massively Obese?

I’m not a huge fan of Cheetos. I don’t know why I’ve never really liked them all that much, but I just haven’t. When it comes to salty junkfood, I generally go big or go home and buy Salt n’ Vinegar or Jalapeno flavored chips. It’s my love for the latter that inspired me to pick up a small bag of NEW! Cheddar and Jalapeno Cheetos. I was also tempted by the “Flamin’ Hot” Cheetos, as I discovered those when living on the west coast 12 years ago and it seems they’ve finally started bringing them eastbound. Anyways, not ’til I got home did I look at the back of the package and realize that Cheetos are loaded with calories and fat.

“Duh, Liam. That’s why they call it ‘junk food.'”

Well I know that, but the amount of shit in a bag of cheetos is really quite astounding. A small bag of Cheetos has 380 calories, 25 grams of fat (that’s 38% of your Daily recommended value) and 560 grams of sodium. How does Chester Cheetah maintain that slender frame? If his diet consists of Cheetos, he should be called Chester Chubby Cheetah and look something like this:

Yes, I know that’s a cat, but you catch my drift. That thing is massive. I have to hand it to Frito Lay, however, they encourage kiddies not to stuff their faces quite so fast, saying, “What’s a Serving? For Cheetos Cheddar Jalapeno Crunchy Snacks, 21 is the right amount for jalapeno hoppin’ fun!” Doesn’t that just ooze corporate social responsibility? It’d be like Camel saying, “What’s the smoking age? For Camel Bubble Gum flavored cigarettes, 18 is the right age for bubble gum smoking fun!”

Anyways, not that you need to hear this from me, but stay away from Cheetos!


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