Posted by: darmonation | June 12, 2009

Thug Life in Arlington, VA

So true. This one is for my homies in Arlington County, VA.

Posted by: darmonation | June 11, 2009

XBOX vs. Wii – Who Wins?

So everyone was really impressed by the Nintendo Wii and how it revolutionized the way we play video games, right? I mean, Nintendo was pretty much off the map for a few years there while Sony and Microsoft battled for domination of the dweeb kingdom with Playstation and Xbox. Then out of nowhere comes Nintendo with this Wii business and smacks ’em both in the face. Well it was only a matter of time before one of the other guys came back with a rebuttle, and it appears XBOX is first to it with it’s new “XBOX 360 Natal.” I can’t imagine it working as flawlessly as the video below indicates, but if it does, that’s one hell of a cool gaming system.

Posted by: darmonation | June 6, 2009

How is Chester Cheetah Not Massively Obese?

I’m not a huge fan of Cheetos. I don’t know why I’ve never really liked them all that much, but I just haven’t. When it comes to salty junkfood, I generally go big or go home and buy Salt n’ Vinegar or Jalapeno flavored chips. It’s my love for the latter that inspired me to pick up a small bag of NEW! Cheddar and Jalapeno Cheetos. I was also tempted by the “Flamin’ Hot” Cheetos, as I discovered those when living on the west coast 12 years ago and it seems they’ve finally started bringing them eastbound. Anyways, not ’til I got home did I look at the back of the package and realize that Cheetos are loaded with calories and fat.

“Duh, Liam. That’s why they call it ‘junk food.'”

Well I know that, but the amount of shit in a bag of cheetos is really quite astounding. A small bag of Cheetos has 380 calories, 25 grams of fat (that’s 38% of your Daily recommended value) and 560 grams of sodium. How does Chester Cheetah maintain that slender frame? If his diet consists of Cheetos, he should be called Chester Chubby Cheetah and look something like this:

Yes, I know that’s a cat, but you catch my drift. That thing is massive. I have to hand it to Frito Lay, however, they encourage kiddies not to stuff their faces quite so fast, saying, “What’s a Serving? For Cheetos Cheddar Jalapeno Crunchy Snacks, 21 is the right amount for jalapeno hoppin’ fun!” Doesn’t that just ooze corporate social responsibility? It’d be like Camel saying, “What’s the smoking age? For Camel Bubble Gum flavored cigarettes, 18 is the right age for bubble gum smoking fun!”

Anyways, not that you need to hear this from me, but stay away from Cheetos!

Posted by: darmonation | June 5, 2009

Where to Invest Your Hard Earned Dollars

So a good buddy of mine tells me this evening that he’s thinking of opening a new investment account because he’s getting a bit sick of Scottrade. The conversation went something like this:

Me: “e*trade shankapotamus!”

Him: “No. TD Ameritrade, man”

Me: “Are you kidding me? Dude, sarcastic talking baby who says hilarious shit or Sam Waterston from Law & Order. Who would you rather have managing your money?

Him: “I like $9.99 trades”

Me: “You’re nuts dude. I’ll take the baby any day.

And who WOULDN’T? I mean, let’s be honest, the e*trade ads are just so much more kickass than the TD Ameritrade ads. Of course, i’m not REALLY that impressionable, give me some credit here, but I thought it was an amusing conversation. I mean really, compare the two:

I rest my case, your honor. Baby wins.

Posted by: darmonation | June 5, 2009

John Travolta and George Michael Are Long Lost Brothers!

Generally speaking, I’m a big fan of any movie starring Denzel Washington or John Travolta. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that I’d watch a movie that really doesn’t appeal to me simply because one of them are in it. This means I’ll probably go see The Taking of Pelham 123 just because they are in it, but not without saying that I just don’t like Travolta in a sinister role where he’s trying to be a badass. I mean, the most badass he’s ever been is in Be Cool, Pulp Fiction, and Wild Hogs (i did NOT see Wild Hogs simply because Travolta was in it – exception to general rule); all of which were “funny” bad guys. I just don’t find Travolta believable as a badass who hijack’s a subway train. I mean look at these pictures – do you think villain when you see this? Or….do you see George Michael?

So how soon till Travolta is caught with his pants down giving himself having a good hand shandy in a public restroom?

Posted by: darmonation | June 5, 2009

Miller 64….Why Not Just Drink Water?

Let the record show that when it comes to light beer, I’m a Miller Lite man. I do not find that Bud Light has “Drinkability.” I’m not sure if that advertising campaign is targeted to people who don’t like the taste of beer, and therefore want their beer to NOT taste like beer in order for it to be “Drinkable,” or what, but frankly, I would rathere drink club soda than Bud Light. Of course, people don’t do that because people want to get smashed, which is essentially what I would argue Budweiser means by “Drinkability.”

All this being said, I have to say that Miller’s newest brainchild “Miller 64” wins the “worst beer on earth” award from me, and that ain’t easy to do! They’ve been pitching these catchy little advertisements that where people go to parties and get these full delicious frosty Miller 64’s, and the other people with them get a “sliver” of whatever it was they ordered, showing them that Miller 64 gives you a lot more drink to quench your thirst for only 64 calories than what other drinks do. Of course, they don’t mention that said drinks have TASTE, and are not just fizzy water with yellow food coloring dripped into it. So horrible is Miller 64 that at a recent event I was at during which Miller was giving away FREE WHOLE BOTTLES of Miller 64 to patrons, there were full bottles basically strewn all over the place because people didn’t want to drink it. I should have taken a picture of it to post it here. Instead, I suppose I’ll just include one of these commercials. As little as I like the beer, I do like the ads…..very clever.

Posted by: darmonation | June 4, 2009

General Motors – Why Are You Still Here?

After a century in which General Motors made some fantastic cars, followed by some of the biggest pieces of shit on the market, General Motors filed for bankruptcy this past Monday June 1st, as the US Government commandeered something like 72% of the company’s debt to allow for restructuring. John Q. Taxpayer now owns a majority stake in what was once the largest automaker in the world, employing more than 400,000 Americans.

In my eyes, the US government bailout of the automakers is a joke. “But Liam, 10’s of thousands of people’s jobs and livelihood depend on these automakers being in existence.” How will bailing them out change that? If we continue to let GM operate in it’s arrogant way, perpetually building worthless pieces of crap that get trampled by foreign competition, 10’s of thousands of jobs will ALWAYS be dependent on it’s “success.” Why not take the billions in bailout funding and re-train all those workers to get jobs with companies that don’t suck? Hmm?

What’s worse, in my opinion, is that ever since Chrysler and GM experienced their troubles, and came to Washington begging for bailouts (in their private jets, no less…..stupid assholes), I’ve continually been subjected to television ads toting the “greatness” of these brands. WTF?!?!?! You come to Washington, pleading with Congress to give you billions in taxpayer dollars so that you can make more TV ads about your shitty automobiles? One question: What are you guys smoking, and can I have some?! The nerve of these pricks to go and make more ads when they are losing billions. CNBC yesterday reported that in 2008, GM spent $2 Billion on ads, but lost $38 Billion dollars. Their stock has gone from $66/share to $.11/share. I’m all for advertising. In fact, I love a good advertisement, but I think that expensive primetime national ads should be reserved for companies with good products, good management, and good balance sheets.

Rant is almost over, but the worst is yet to come. Tonight I’m sitting around and my girlfriend sends me a link to the “GM Reinvention Commercial.” She should know better than to have done that, as my blood pressure immediately shot up and I just started cussing. Let me get this straight: GM begs for tax payer dollars to “miraculously save itself.” The US govt gives it to them. Skeptics don’t think they can do it. Skeptics are right. GM files for bankruptcy. Not 2 days later, they have an ad running on primetime talking about what the NEW GM will be like? The NEW GM? How the hell can GM of old just get flushed down the toilet on Monday, and GM of NEW is already this great big promising thing? Explain….See the ad for yourself below.

This ad is just swell, and I’m glad that GM is all about it’s “New Reinvention” but this evening I saw a commercial for the next generation Toyota Prius, which is going to have a solar panel on the top of it that powers the air conditioning function within the car. Can you believe that? Think about how much sense that makes. To think, GM only started making hybrid vehicles 3 years ago…..this doesn’t surprise me, of course, because to their arrogant executive team the hybrid car was probably “just a fad” and “soon enough, everyone will be back buying Suburbans that get 11 mpg’s.” Good luck with your “Reinvention,” GM, I know a few people who are betting on you in the stock market. I, however, am not one of them.

Posted by: darmonation | February 5, 2009


So I recently discovered Pundit Kitchen from the makers of I Can Haz Cheezburger, the highly addictive sites that let you place captions on pictures of politicos or felines. I’ve created a bunch myself but saw this one and thought it was appropriate based on my post yesterday:

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

Posted by: darmonation | February 4, 2009

Let there be ACTION!

So with all the hullabaloo surrounding the nominations of a bunch of Tax frauds, people seem to be distracted by the fact that Obama is not wasting any time to act on his promises. Today he proposed a salary cap of $500,000/year  for CEOs and other Senior Executives at companies who are currently receiving government funding to stay afloat. Normally, this type of government involvement in corporate America would really not sit well with me, as I’m a strict believer that government and capitalism have no business in bed together, but when you’ve got CEOs crawling to Washington hat-in-hand begging for taxpayer dollars to bailout the companies of which they are in charge, only to find out that they use millions upon millions in bonuses for executives who are responsible for the dire situation to begin with, that’s where I draw the line!

Take former Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain, who topped the list of highest paid CEOs in America at $83 Million in compensation. The guy spent more than $1 Million dollars to “redecorate his office” when he took over as CEO of the struggling Wall Street giant known as the “Thundering Herd,” which included a $1,000 TRASH BARREL! Are you kidding me? Some months later, Merrill agrees to be purchased by Bank of America for $50 Billion, and in his final days as CEO, Thain hands out massive bonuses to his top lieutenants. Typical of these greedy bastards – when the ship is sinking, take all the life preservers for yourselves and let the rest fend for themselves. The REAL winner in this situation is Thain’s DRIVER, who was paid $230,000 for a year’s worth of work! Who is he, Jason Statham? I’ll drive his ass around for half that pricetag. Hell, i’d drive his ass around for 1/3 of that! Actually, I take that back – I wouldn’t want to work for a greedy SOB like that.

All in all, my underlying conservative viewpoints are somewhat set aside due to this horrendous financial recession we’re in, and I’m glad to see that Obama is taking steps to put a stop to the corporate greed that got us here in the first place. When parents of a family of 5 lose their jobs and are so stressed out about it that they take the lives of themselves and their families, and then you’ve got the titans of corporate America spending the same amount of money on a garbage can that would feed the aforementioned family for 3 months, there’s something wrong there. You want my tax dollars to save your company? that’s fine, but you better be taking as big a hit as the rest of us, Mr. CEO.

Posted by: darmonation | November 13, 2008

Ode to Canada, My Home and Native Land….

At least Britain gives us props: 

British news paper salutes Canada . . . Sunday Telegraph
Article From today’s UK wires:
Salute to a brave and modest nation – Kevin Myers, ‘The Sunday Telegraph’ LONDON:

Until the deaths of Canadian soldiers killed in Afghanistan , probably almost no one outside their home country had been aware that Canadian troops are deployed in the region. And as always, Canada will bury its dead, just as the rest of the world, as always will forget its sacrifice, just as it always forgets nearly everything Canada ever does.. 

It seems that Canada’s historic mission is to come to the selfless aid both of its friends and of complete strangers, and then, once the crisis is over, to be well and truly ignored. Canada is the perpetual wallflower that stands on the edge of the hall, waiting for someone to come and ask her for a dance. A fire breaks out, she risks life and limb to rescue her fellow dance-goers, and suffers serious injuries. But when the hall is repaired and the dancing resumes, there is Canada, the wallflower still, while those she once helped Glamorously cavort across the floor, blithely neglecting her yet again.

That is the price Canada pays for sharing the North American continent with the United States, and for being a selfless friend of Britain in two global conflicts.

For much of the 20th century, Canada was torn in two different directions: It seemed to be a part of the old world, yet had an address in the new one, and that divided identity ensured that it never fully got the gratitude it deserved. 

Yet it’s purely voluntary contribution to the cause of freedom in two world wars was perhaps the greatest of any democracy. Almost 10% of Canada ‘s entire population of seven million people served in the armed forces during the First World War, and nearly 60,000 died. The great Allied victories of 1918 were spearheaded by Canadian troops, perhaps the most capable soldiers in the entire British order of battle.
Canada was repaid for its enormous sacrifice by downright neglect, it’s unique contribution to victory being absorbed into the popular Memory as somehow or other the work of the ‘British.’ 

The Second World War provided a re-run. The Canadian navy began the war with a half dozen vessels, and ended up policing nearly half of the Atlantic against U-boat attack. More than 120 Canadian warships participated in the Normandy landings, during which 15,000 Canadian soldiers went ashore on D-Day alone.
Canada finished the war with the third-largest navy and the fourth largest air force in the world. The world thanked Canada with the same sublime indifference as it had the previous time.

Canadian participation in the war was acknowledged in film only if it was necessary to give an American actor a part in a campaign in which the United States had clearly not participated – a touching scrupulousness which, of course, Hollywood has since abandoned, as it has any notion of a separate Canadian identity.

So it is a general rule that actors and filmmakers arriving in Hollywood keep their nationality – unless, that is, they are Canadian. Thus Mary Pickford, Walter Huston, Donald Sutherland, Michael J. Fox, William Shatner,Norman Jewison, David Cronenberg, Alex Trebek, Art Linkletter and Dan Aykroyd have in the popular perception become American, and Christopher Plummer, British.

It is as if, in the very act of becoming famous, a Canadian ceases to be Canadian, unless she is Margaret Atwood, who is as unshakably Canadian as a moose, or Celine Dion, for whom Canada has proved quite unable to find any takers.

Moreover, Canada is every bit as querulously alert to the achievements of its sons and daughters as the rest of the world is completely unaware of them. The Canadians proudly say of themselves – and are unheard by anyone else – that 1% of the world’s population has provided 10% of the world’s peacekeeping forces.
Canadian soldiers in the past half century have been the greatest peacekeepers on Earth – in 39 missions on UN mandates, and six on non-UN peacekeeping duties, from Vietnam to East Timor, from Sinai to Bosnia.
Yet the only foreign engagement that has entered the popular non-Canadian imagination was the sorry affair in Somalia, in which out-of-control paratroopers murdered two Somali infiltrators. Their regiment was then disbanded in disgrace – a uniquely Canadian act of self-abasement for which, naturally, the Canadians received no international credit.

So who today in the United States knows about the stoic and selfless friendship its northern neighbour has given it in Afghanistan?

Rather like Cyrano de Bergerac, Canada repeatedly does honourable things for honourable motives, but instead of being thanked for it, it remains something of a figure of fun. It is the Canadian way, for which Canadians should be proud, yet such honour comes at a high cost. 

This past year more grieving Canadian families knew that cost all too tragically well.

Lest we forget.

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